Hi - I submitted a couple of Sondheim lolcats, but they haven't been posted. I also haven't heard that there was a problem with them. Did they not get through? Or is there another issue?
We get a lot of submissions, for which we are grateful. But that means that we are a little bit backed up on publishing them. (We also don’t necessarily contact people if their submissions don’t meet the guidelines, simply because of the sheer number of submissions we get that don’t meet the guidelines. Sorry!)
We’ve been getting a lot of submissions, and that’s fabulous, but more and more of them are missing one of the three essential components for a Sondheim lolcat. They are:
A photograph of a cat. (Occasionally a drawing of a cat or a photograph of some other being posing as a cat has been accepted, but those are the exception, not the rule.) If you’re not sure how to find a photograph of a cat, we heartily recommend PlaceKitten.com.
A Stephen Sondheim lyric. (Occasionally we’ve let a line from one of his collaborators’ libretti slip by, but really folks, this is Sondheim lolcats, not Lapine lolcats, Wheeler lolcats, Laurents lolcats, etc.) If you’re not sure if Sondheim wrote the words in question, ask yourself, “Are these words sung or spoken?” If the answer is spoken, he probably didn’t write them. If you’re still not sure, why not check out his two books of collected lyrics, only slightly out of date because the old bastard can’t leave well enough alone and has already rewritten lyrics to both Follies and Merrily We Roll Along since the books were published.
That lyric should be rendered in lolspeech and superimposed on the image, graphically. If you’re not sure how to write in lolspeech, we heartily recommend this online lolcat translator.
When we get submissions that don’t fit, we try to email the submitters and suggest improvements, but we’d really appreciate it if you could make our lives easier and review the three guidelines above before submitting.